Growing in Jesus

Looking back at my life and when I think about hard times and when I would pray, the thing that comes to my mind is my attitude after. If I didn’t get the answer that I wanted, just like a child, I would get angry with God and then the next time I went to pray, I would stop myself and say “He’s not going to answer anyway.” Wow – how immature is that? I find myself feeling very ashamed for those times and I have asked for forgiveness. I found myself thinking of this as I had a prayer over the last couple of days go unanswered. But even as I was praying for this request and asking God for a miracle, I did tell Him, “No matter what, I will still praise you! I will not turn my back on you this time like I have in the past. I love you too much Lord to do that. I will still love you even if I don’t get the outcome I am looking for.” So, to my disappointment, my day did come to an end, and I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for. Now, two days later, I found myself with another request that I needed to bring forth, and wouldn’t you know it, those old thoughts still crept up into my head! But this time, I refused to allow them to keep me from praying. I went boldly before the throne again and talked to Jesus and told Him the desires of my heart. I may not always understand why some prayers get answered and others don’t, but I will NOT stop praying. I have learned to trust that HE knows the reasons why, and HE sees the big picture where I am not able to see or know what is best for me the way that He does. I cling to Romans 8:28 that tells me “All things work together for good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” And though I may not see it now, it is still my job to Trust my God and know that He will work things out, even when I can’t see it happening yet. It feels good to know, that I have grown in love, trust and faith, and most importantly, I’ve grown in Jesus.

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