"Amazing Grace"

Yesterday was an extremely emotional day for me. Attending a burial service for our grandchildren is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had the privilege to sing at the service and though it was very difficult, my God was able to help me keep my emotions in check until my songs were completed. Though the tears won’t seem to stop flowing now.  :)

22 years ago we buried my niece of 5 months old, and it never ceases to amaze me how those memories never fade. The song that I remember singing to her the day she died was “They That Wait Upon the Lord”. Though really all I could do was hum the song because I could not seem to get any words out that day.
4 years ago on April 8th we watched my sister in law succumb to cancer and on that day God took her home, I sang “What a Day That Will Be.”

Death is never easy and needless to say, yesterday was filled with so many memories of past heartaches and goodbyes I wasn’t quite sure how I could make it through the day.

But God is Good! He is so incredibly forgiving and faithful. I remember when my niece died that I was filled with so much anger and bitterness toward God for letting it happen. But over the years of growing in Him and drawing on His word I am so thankful that He has opened my eyes to see that His ways are not our ways and that there are so many things that we simply cannot understand on this earth here below. But there will come a day when we will understand, and when things will become clear for us. It is my job here, to live a life for Him, so that one day I can be sure to get those answers I have been looking for. A day when I can live and reign with Him in heaven, and see all of my loved ones that I miss so very much.

Yesterday I sang a song that I wrote, “In the Arms of Jesus”, where I truly believe our grand babies are today. Shon and I plan to record that song very soon. I also sang “Amazing Grace” which as I was singing couldn’t help but think how thankful I am that God could bring me to this place, when I once was so angry and confused, to a place of peace. That I could not only be present at, but to stand and sing in a cemetery, surrounded in baby land, on the anniversary of my sister’s death, and sing for His Glory. That to me, is truly “AMAZING GRACE”.


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